The Party Move

Have a crush on someone who you are not sure is interested in you? Well, I have the perfect remedy for you to find out and even get laid. This maneuver is perfect for characters whose sexual orientation is questionable to you. You might have heard a rumor that she kisses girls when high but you like her and you have caught her sneaking a peek your way.

So, here is how it works.
This maneuver works best when you’re into a girl and you’re not sure if she’s into you. Assuming you two have already met, and you’ve not been stalking her Facebook profile and going to places like Tacos hoping to get a sneak peek of her… in which case you are a stalker.

Everything starts with communication so the first thing you do is talk to her. You don’t have to start by coming out of the closet and telling her that you’re gay. Some people don’t like it because a person tends to come on too strongly and it’s an obvious tell that you’re just interested in sleeping with her. Being a lesbian does not define who you are.

First and foremost, you’re human. Your sexual preference does not define your character so let her see your character, your personality and give her a chance to get to like you on her own terms.

So go and buy yourself a pair and initiate conversation with her. Once you’re on talking terms, and she’s gotten to know you, tell her that your friends are having a party and you’d like it if she came. Don’t go into detail about the theme of the party because we already decided that your sexuality does not define you, just tell her that it’s a different type of party with a different type of ambience but assure her that she’ll have fun.

No one turns down a party these days unless they’re too young or have a curfew in which case you are barking up the wrong tree. Once she agrees, dress up nicely, apply some deodorant and prepare yourself for anything.

She’ll have an eyebrow-raising-moment once you get there and she discovers it’s a girls-only kind of party but try to reassure her and tell her to keep an open mind and enjoy herself. Introduce her to your nice social friends who know how to make conversation, not the crocodiles who will want to hit on her with every sentence that comes of their mouth, which will likely give her the wrong impression of you and most likely scare her away.

Get her a drink, make conversation and be inconspicuous, which means you do not try to over-express your interest in her. Just play nice, be cool and treat her like a lady, with respect.

The whole point of the party is to show her who you are without having to say the words. After that comes the hard part. Ask her if she’s comfortable and DO NOT make a move at the party.

If she does not immediately want to leave, then that is a positive response. Be easy, be patient, be the best version of yourself and at the end of the night, insist on taking her home in a cab.

If she stayed for the whole party, putting in mind the kind of debauchery that takes place in Q-bashes, and she is leaving with you and not one of your friends, then she is definitely interested.

Keep in mind that she will be a little high so she’ll be comfortable enough, maybe even a little horny after all the girl-on-girl action she’s likely to have seen at the party.

There is a thing about confidence that is attractive, so once inside the cab, don’t act clueless no matter how afraid you might be feeling to take charge. So if she’s not yet all over you, take the lead and go in for a kiss. She will respond. Trust me!

From there, let the fingers do the walking. Now you can let loose and show her just how interested you are. *wink*.

Agree on whose place it will be, yours or hers and proceed to a night of muff munching. In the morning, don’t forget to write me an email and thank me. It has worked for me on several occasions and if you do it right, there is no reason why it shouldn’t work for you.

I call it the party move basically because everything takes place at the party. The scene has already been set for you and all the tools you need to use to your advantage are present.

There is a Q-bash this weekend, why don’t you try it out?

All the best you muff munchers

The Bedroom Maneuver

This is my favorite because it does not require a lot of effort and it has worked in my favor a lot. It can be employed in many situations and most times, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known the girl or how long you two have been seeing each other. So if you want to get laid, quick and easy, this is how you do it…

First, you invite the girl over to your place. Make the effort to know her favorite movies and music beforehand. Make some good food and if you’re too lazy to prepare her a meal, you can buy some in advance. Get some alcohol, I’d recommend some red wine because it’ll make the woman feel like you care enough to make her feel special.

Clean up the house, set the mood. You don’t want her to see a roach leisurely cruising around your house. It’s a turn off. Spray the house too if you must. The idea is to create a setting that will seduce her from the moment she enters the door.

Now, the reason why you took her to your house is because it’s your comfort zone. That means, she’ll feel a little intimidated as expected and she’ll want to try and level the playfield so she’ll do things, say things that will likely sound a little… for lack of a better word-let me say, unusual. But, you must let her because it’s her way of trying to intimidate you in return.

For example, sometimes, a girl can excuse herself, go to the bathroom to ‘freshen up’ then come back to the room with a little more makeup, a couple of buttons undone and if she had a sweater or a scarf, she could take it off and expose a little more flesh. This is the art of intimidation.

Your response should be calm, composed, act like you don’t expect anything, like she’s a buddy you’re comfortable with, treat her nicely, make conversation, laugh a little. Make her comfortable because if she feels otherwise, dude, you ain’t getting laid. This means, you have to initiate everything, the conversation, the intimacy, etc.

Now, back to setting the mood. Once she arrives, greet her with a warm hug. Invite her in, offer her a drink, ask her about her journey if she came on her own, if you came together, then you don’t have to do that, but you can carry on with the procedure from the moment you invite her in.

If you’ve managed to get this far, great for you. You’re doing good so far. Something will definitely happen. But you have to stay cool, act normal, ask her if she’s hungry, if she wants a drink. If she doesn’t drink, and by drink I mean ‘consume alcohol’ then this will be a little more challenging for you because alcohol relaxes a person. It makes them more at ease.

If she doesn’t drink, you have to compensate for it with something, like really good conversation, don’t talk about yourself, talk about general stuff, touch on the things you two have in common. The point is to get her to relax.

After that, the small talk, the first glass of wine and maybe a little food, play the movie and turn the music on. Remember, the music has to be low enough to avoid distracting her from the movie, but loud enough for her to notice your effort.

Once you make it that far, sit together, close enough to touch but far enough not to send mixed signals. Positively express how you feel about the movie, meet her remarks and comments with a favorable response and flirt in between to make your interest known. Not so much so you don’t scare her off and not too little to give her the impression that you’re not into her.

Remember the reason why you’re going into all this trouble is because of one thing and one thing only, sex.

If and only if, she responds to the flirting, slowly make your move. At that point, unless the movie is more interesting than your company, she’ll be too into you to care about what happens in the movie. So kiss her, slowly and wait for her response. When she kisses you back, you’ve got your chance.

Go slowly, show her what you want to do and if her response is positive, well, I don’t have to spell it out for you, do I? Get to boinking!!

I call this the bedroom maneuver because it works best in the bedroom. If the first time doesn’t work, if it doesn’t get to the ‘boinking’ invite her over again, she’ll go home feeling like a lady because she did not give it up on the first date, but on the plus side, you two will have a hot make out session and next time she’s over at your place, she’ll already be aware of what to expect.

Good luck little boinkers.